dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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