is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
