The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
