So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
