Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
