i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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