You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize