i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
