just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
