Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
