i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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