I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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