Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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