does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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