is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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