how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize