9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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