You just made me feel so damn special
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
