Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
