any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
