Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
