He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
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His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
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I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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