even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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