Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
