just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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