"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
