Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he high fived his dick after we had sex
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
