shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
