I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
