I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
