can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
