Christians are straight up FREAKS
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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