Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
