I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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