I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
