we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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