I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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