No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
