Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
