I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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