I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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