My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
