You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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