Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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