The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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