"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
