We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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