We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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