How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
