i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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