i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
