You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
