i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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