Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
