Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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