Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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