the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
