trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My feet surprised me
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