Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
