Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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