I forgot how hot balto sounded
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You've changed since you got that strap on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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