I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
