How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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