Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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