Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Too much gin, very little bucket
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
