I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize