you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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