Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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