Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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